Finding Strength

So she knelt, knees buckled as she crumbled to the ground, hands out, palms down, cheek pressed against the cool grass and cried. She poured out her soul in silence. Her tears soaked the rich dirt beneath her. Her fingers dug into the Earth as she held on in an attempt to stop the world from spinning. Every gasping breath a shudder that caused her to tremble against the ground. The shadows cradled her and the mist caressed her fevered skin. Each whispered plea wrenched from her chest in choking sobs, was carried away by the gentle brush of the wind. And all the while time continued to spiral beyond control.

She closed her eyes against the empty night, blocking out the moon, the darkness, and tormenting emptiness. The Wolf was out there, hurting and alone, but somewhere out there. She knew what she had to do. Even the smallest have strength from which to draw, and yes, sometimes even the Wolf needs protecting.

(c) 2012 sierra sugar

Company of the Stalking Wolf

The Wolf watches. He is vigilant in His guard; an ever-present shadow even in the darkest of nights. His mere presence causes the air to tremble. The stars themselves are cautious of His ire, and even the moon dares not answer when He calls. Yet in her wake and through her slumber she knows no fear. For every moment He draws breath she is protected well and true, in the Company of the Stalking Wolf. -

(c) 2012 ~ sierra sugar

Stalking Wolf

The scent of cedar permeates the air as the mist meanders over chilled earth, lazily winding its way between the trees. A shadow moves and the mist swirls. Moonlight breaks through the clouds, filtering through the branches and glistens off the inky fur of the wolf. He stalks, but a mere silhouette against the distorted shadows of the forest, weaving his way along an unseen path, driven by determination. His only desire to find her.

Somewhere in the night she waits, her scent mingling with the pungent cedar and the clinging dampness. Her breathe, her very heartbeat a beacon calling to him. Guiding him home to her arms. 

(c) 2012 ~ sierra sugar

The Wolf

The wolf will heal.  He will stalk and howl.  He will hunt and run.  The wind will wash away his pain and let it dissipate into the night.

~sierra sugar
(c)2012

Changes

First let me start by saying that "eMOTIONS" in Second Life is no more.  I have found that anymore I have very little time for SL outside of time spent in preparation for Relay for Life, or the occasional bit of time spent with a close friend or two.  My desire to build, create, photograph, or blog anything relating to SL right now is gone, and should it return it will all be incorporated into my main blog, "The Sweet Life of Sierra Sugar". 

For now, eMOTIONS, will be just that, a blog through emotions.  A journal.  An outlet.  Someplace more removed from FB, plurk, twitter, and just SL in general.  I intend this to become something more personal.  Something that is an exploration of life in general, my life, sierra/kitty/karen.  This is my journey.  These are my emotions.

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There was a time to say things.  That time has passed.  Too long spent in silence and now that is all that is left.  Well, that's not entirely true.  There is a lot left.  Hurt.  Anger.  Tears.  And there is not real direction for what I feel.  No one person to "blame" if you will.  No person at all.

Except me.

There was a time to stand up and fight.  Maybe?  A time to express how I felt and what I wanted.  Instead I waited quietly.  Instead I hid.  Instead I convinced myself that being quiet, not pushing, not asking, waiting to be wanted was the right course of action.  I made myself invisible and it worked.  I was forgotten.  That is all my fault.  I can be mad at all the things I perceived to be done.  I can be mad at all the choices I perceive as being made.  I can be mad at the outcome.  But if I look deep inside I have acknowledge that all this anger is ultimately directed at me.

The choice I made in my heart I did not express loudly or clearly enough.  And perhaps even had I, it would not have mattered.  But the fact I did nothing means I'll never know.

And now it's time to figure out how to let go.

Others move on.  So must I.